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The Returning Page 21
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Elise exhaled and wished the tiny pulse throbbing inside her brain would stop. “Fine,” she lied. “A bit disoriented is all.” She tried to offer him a hopeful smile, but it was hard to fake away the discomfort.
Willis sat down beside Elise on her misshapen bed. “You don’t have to lie to me. It’s all right if you still don’t feel well. The hospital was extreme.”
“Any news on those people?” Elise asked.
Willis was smiling. “I don’t know what was different this time, but all of those that we awakened at the hospital can’t be readministered.”
“What?”
“The Genesis Serum has no effect on them anymore. You made them like you.”
“Immune?”
“Looks like it.”
Elise let his words sink into her bones. “It wasn’t me, you know. The light is what changed those people.”
“It healed them too.”
She looked at Willis in surprise. He shrugged, a playful grin on his face, and she smiled genuinely in response.
“I didn’t even know the light could do that,” Willis said.
Elise’s smile only widened. “The light can do anything.”
“And you carry it, which makes you pretty significant.”
“We all carry it. You saw those children at the hospital, running around, fully abandoned to the truth. It was one of the most incredible things . . .” She trailed off, losing her words to the memories.
Willis swept her hand into his own, tangling their fingers together and sending her heart racing. His palm was warm and his touch sent tingles up her arm. The hold was both strong and gentle, and once again Elise had a strong desire to run away with him.
“You scared us at the hospital. You scared me,” Willis said.
“I’m okay,” she assured him.
“I can feel you when you dream, you know. I get a glimpse of the pain you’re in. I know you’re not okay.”
Elise didn’t respond. She didn’t know what to say. He was right; she wasn’t okay. Every moment she was awake, she could sense the lifetime of memories boiling under her skin. She was absorbing parts of them all somehow, and they followed her.
“You should have told me how much of a toll this was taking on you,” Willis said.
“And what good would that have done?”
“I would have—”
“Stopped me?” Elise cut in. “I’m called to this, remember? And it isn’t over, so I can’t stop.”
“But you can’t keep going like this. What if it has permanent effects on you? What if it . . .”
Elise already knew what he wouldn’t say. “Kills me?” The thought had crossed her mind for the first time in the hospital. She was, after all, just a girl. She carried the light, yes, but she was still human, still fragile. Willis squeezed her hand, and they remained quiet for a long moment.
“I want to reassure you that that won’t happen,” Willis said. “I want to tell you that everything will be fine and that I can protect you from the pain. I want to save you from this, but I don’t know how.”
“Maybe it’s impossible. Maybe I can’t be saved.”
Willis shook his head and moved his eyes so that they were staring right into hers. “I don’t know how to lose you now.” He moved his free hand to graze the side of her face. “And I don’t want to find out.”
The air between them stilled, and Elise held her breath. The moment seemed to last an eternity, the second between him staring into her eyes and the moment his lips touched hers. It was as if everything had moved into slow motion, but then it happened. Their lips pressed together and the throbbing pain in the back of her mind vanished. All the worries of what was to come erased. All that was, was their kiss. Powerful and tender, unlike anything she’d felt before, and the familiar ache to hide away from the world with him grew. In that one instant, she considered taking his hands in hers and walking away from this city and never looking back.
A knock at the door broke the magic, and Willis respectfully pulled away. Elise followed his lips with her eyes as Willis called for whoever had ruined their moment to come in. She forced herself to stop staring at his face and turned to see Kennedy glancing in to check on her sister.
Elise shook the regret from her shoulders and smiled at Kennedy.
“I’ll give you two a minute,” Willis said as he stood, giving Elise’s hand a final squeeze, and left. Kennedy walked across the room and sat down beside Elise.
She wrapped her arm around her sister’s shoulders and shot her a sneaky little grin.
“What?” Elise asked.
“Apparently I’m making a bad habit of interrupting the two of you.”
Elise chuckled and rolled her eyes. “Yes, dear sister,” she said, playfully shoving Kennedy’s shoulder. “Yes, you are.”
Elise saw Kane sitting on the edge of the old factory roof, just where Kennedy had told her he would be. According to her, Kane had spent the majority of his time since the hospital alone, the wheels behind his eyes always turning, his mind caught up in itself. Kennedy and Willis had tried to keep Elise in bed, insisting that she needed more rest, but the room had started to feel claustrophobic, and she was worried about Kane.
She made her way toward him slowly, her body still exhausted and tender. She kicked a small pebble and it bounced against the stone roof, causing Kane to lift his chin and see her coming.
He stood, alarm on his face, an automatic reaction he’d acquired around her. “Everything okay?”
She nodded and smiled. “Yes, just needed some fresh air,” she said as she reached him.
“I’ll let you have the roof,” Kane said, moving to step away.
Elise gently touched his arm. “Sit with me?”
His eyes flashed with fear, and Elise tried to make her expression reassuring. After a moment, he nodded and the two sat. Elise turned her eyes to the city in front of her. It stretched far and wide, the evening light covering the buildings and streets. The sun was sinking toward the distant mountains. She found herself thinking about what it might be like to stand at the top of one of those mountains and touch the sun as it faded away.
Say to that mountain move, and it will move.
Elise let the presence of her Father fill her tired soul. The last time she’d been on a roof, she had been with Aaron, and the light had revealed itself to her in such a defined way that it had sent them all on this journey. A journey many of them had believed in from the very beginning, while others had come around only as the adventure had continued.
Kane was different from all of them. Sage had told Elise in confidence that she was worried Kane would never believe. Even though he had been present for many of the moments when the light changed people, Kane had remained skeptical and cold. A warrior through and through, his logic outweighed his ability to believe. Now, though, Elise thought, stealing a quick glance at him, everything was different.
The silence between them lingered for a while. Both remained lost in their own thoughts as the cooling air swept over them and the sky faded overhead. Elise was searching for something to say to break the silence, but Kane spoke first.
“How do you not feel overcome by it all?” he asked.
Elise chose her words carefully. “I surrender to it.”
“Surrender is not something that comes easily to me.”
“Yes, it has been painted as a negative word, hasn’t it? The truth is, there is overwhelming power in surrender. In letting go of all you think you know to discover truth.”
“Letting go feels like giving up.”
“That’s because you still see yourself through the eyes of this world. You still believe you need to fight and resist and conquer. But you don’t.”
“Are we not currently fighting a war?”
“I don’t think of it that way. I believe we are helping people remember the light that already lives inside them, so that they understand there has never actually been a war to fight.”
“Even against tho
se that did this to you? Stole you from your family, kept you captive? You don’t feel like they should pay for what they’ve done?”
Elise took a slow breath and let the moment linger. Did she think about the grievances she could hold against Jesse and the Authority, the debt that should be repaid to her for all her suffering? “Yes,” she said. “Sometimes I crave justice for myself. My mind tricks me into thinking that somehow retaliation will give me power. But then, I have seen true power come only from surrender and letting go of injustices. So if I believe real strength comes from letting go, then how can I believe that holding on to my grudges will also bring me power? The two can’t exist together.”
“So then how do you deal with it? It’s all good and fine to say I’m letting it go, but how do you stop it all from crawling back up into your mind?”
“Life is a cycle of remembering and forgetting. The Father is in all and with all, and He tells me I am the light of the world. So if I believe His words are true and that we are all the same, created equal, and that I am the light of the world, then you must be too. When I start to forget who you are, then I, in turn, also start to forget who I am. So I practice remembering.”
Kane shook his head and turned his gaze back toward the city. “It all messes with my mind, man.”
Elise chuckled and nodded. “It’s relearning, really. The way the light breaks down what you have previously believed and shows you what real truth is.”
“I wasn’t even sure if I believed, but then . . .” Kane trailed off and Elise could see the emotion clouding his face. He kept his eyes turned away and his voice at a whisper. “I can still feel the light in me, pulling at my chest.” His eyes filled with silent tears and Elise’s heart broke. “It’s constantly with me now. Destroying my mind and making me question everything.”
“It’s okay to question, to wonder,” Elise said. “Don’t judge yourself for searching.”
Tears were now sliding down Kane’s cheeks and he inhaled angrily. “How could I not have seen before? I was so close to it and still didn’t see. I must look like such a fool.”
“The light reveals itself to everyone in its own perfect timing. You are not a fool, Kane; you learned you were the light of the world exactly when you needed to, and probably saved my life.”
Kane glanced up at Elise. “I’m sorry. I should have asked how you’re feeling.”
She shook her head. “It’s all right. I’m fine.”
“Aren’t you afraid of what could happen to you if we continue?” Kane asked.
First Willis and now Kane. Remember who I call you. What shall you fear? The voice poured over Elise like refreshing water, and she smiled. She let go of the fear starting to build in her system and felt the soft rush of peace. “Only when I forget who I am.”
Kane was shaking his head again. “I have this terrible feeling that this is only going to get worse before it gets better.”
Elise nodded. “As things usually do,” she said, her spirit soaking in the truth of the Father’s voice and letting go of the fear. She looked across the city, its lights coming alive in the dimming evening sky, and took a deep breath. Yes, things will probably get worse.
25
When the evening sky finally went dark, Elise and Kane left the roof to join the rest of the group. Everyone else was gathered together in the main room around a large fire blazing up from the inside of the thick metal barrel. Elise followed Kane into the room and felt her heart skip a beat when Willis looked up and smiled at her. She wondered if there would ever be a time when his eyes didn’t make her stomach do somersaults.
Franklin walked into the room after them, and Sam nodded in his direction. “Where have you been?”
“Just doing some patrols, trying to keep busy,” Franklin said.
“You don’t actually need to do that anymore,” Davis said. He was sitting at the large desk he’d constructed, staring at the monitors that he hardly left alone. “I installed two more cameras yesterday, so the building and all the surrounding streets are completely covered. We have eyes on them.” Davis glanced at Franklin over his shoulder. “Cool, right?”
Franklin gave him a small grin. “Yeah, cool,” he said meekly. Elise wondered what was on his mind. She still didn’t know the former CityWatch guard very well, and they had hardly talked in depth about how he was dealing with all this. In fact, she’d hardly talked to anyone other than Willis, Kennedy, and now Kane.
Elise surveyed the room, suddenly feeling an overwhelming need to speak with each of them. This journey they were all on together was far from anything they could have expected, and it was taxing on the mind and the soul. Had she gotten so caught up in following the mission that she’d missed the chance to really connect with those around her? She definitely connected with them as they followed the light, but did she actually know any of them?
“Any idea where we’re going next?” Lucy asked Willis, yanking Elise from her thoughts.
Willis was sitting in a chair next to Davis’s workstation, spooning stew into his mouth. He glanced at Elise, and she could see the worried expression on his face. If he had dreamed about something, he didn’t want to share it with the group, because he was worried about what it might do to her. She wanted to tell him not to worry about her, that he couldn’t hold back information on her behalf. Didn’t he understand how important their mission was? She was going to have to say something to him.
“Dude, those new cameras you installed are blank,” Sam said to Davis, leaning into the table and looking closely at the screens.
Davis leaned forward, his forehead scrunching in frustration. “Must be a bug—they were just working.”
Sam chuckled. “Guess you shouldn’t have dismissed Franklin’s efforts so quickly, huh?” He turned to the place where Franklin had been standing, but he wasn’t there anymore. Sam casually scanned the room for Franklin but came up empty. Elise too found herself curious. Hadn’t he just been there?
She saw Willis’s face go pale as he stood from his seat a moment before a cold arm wrapped around Elise’s chest. It pulled her back tightly as the tip of a small metal object was forced up against the side of her skull. Her mind registered gun before she fully understood what was happening, and her body’s primal instincts took over. Her hands grabbed at the arm restraining her as the person behind her forcefully dragged her several feet away from the rest of the group, all of them on their feet now and staring at what was happening.
“Franklin, what—?” Sam said.
“Stay back!” Franklin yelled, pushing the gun tighter against Elise’s head, his voice echoing painfully in her ear. Franklin was the one holding a gun to her head? Her mind tumbled over itself trying to comprehend how this could be possible.
“Franklin—” she said.
“Shut up,” he snapped. He was holding her so tightly across her chest that she was struggling to breathe. His arm trembled as he took a couple more steps back, yanking Elise along with him.
“Whoa,” Willis said, raising his hands in a surrendering pose. “Just take it easy.” He took a step forward, and Elise felt the gun cock against her temple. Willis froze.
“I said stay back,” Franklin repeated.
Elise could feel his panicked breaths rising and falling with his chest; she could sense the tension in his hold. What was he thinking? How had it come to this?
“Franklin,” she tried again. “Please, whatever it is—”
“No,” he said in a violent whisper, “you don’t understand.”
“This is insane, man; come on. Just put the gun down,” Sam said.
“This is a safe place for you,” Sage said, suddenly showing her face through the concerned crowd across the room.
“You’re one of us now; we can work through this,” Lucy said.
Franklin’s entire body shivered, and he muttered under his breath. He seemed to be battling with himself, and his loss of control made Elise nervous. She was trying to see through the blind fear that was threat
ening to overwhelm her system, trying to find the light that reminded her there was nothing to fear. But as he shook and took another step toward the door, pulling at her and cursing under his breath about someone being late, Elise struggled to see anything but despair.
“Everyone stop talking!” he yelled and jerked Elise again. The motion rattled the pain in her muscles, and she cried out. Willis was on the move then, but it was too late. Just as his feet moved to cross the room, dozens of CityWatch guards descended on the factory floor. They pushed into the room past Franklin and Elise, their guns raised, shouting commands.
“Freeze!”
“Hands up!”
“Everybody on their knees, now!”
Willis stopped, his face pulled tight with anger, but did as he was told, placing his hands above his head and kneeling on the wooden floor. The others did the same, fear engulfing their expressions. More men, dressed all in black, filed into the room and moved toward the Seers to restrain them.
Elise could feel the light inside her tugging at her mind and she closed her eyes to call it forth, but something sharp pricked at the side of her neck, and she reopened her eyes wide.
“I’m so sorry,” Franklin whispered to her. “I had no choice.”
“What did you—?” Elise started to say but lost control of her mouth. It felt fuzzy along with the rest of her face as the site of the prick stung painfully. Her eyes went hazy as the room around her began to swim. She tried to shake it off, but she couldn’t seem to connect her thoughts with the use of her muscles, and the darkness started to flood in.
“Forgive me,” Franklin said. Those were the last words she heard before the darkness came and took her completely.
Elise woke suddenly. She pushed herself up from where she’d been lying, her heart racing and her mind running at full speed. Like she’d been shot up with adrenaline, the blood under her skin throbbed with wild abandon. What had happened last? An image of Franklin filled her mind and everything came rushing back to her. Her hand reached for the spot on her neck, and she felt a tiny bump where he’d injected her with something. A sedative? So she couldn’t use the light to save them. They’d been taken by the Authority. All of them.