The Returning Page 24

  “Stop,” she heard Jesse say. He had scooted his chair back from the table and was clenching the armrests with force, making his knuckles white. Elise could see pain working through his shoulders, could feel his intensity and terror as he tried to release himself from her grasp. “Stop!”

  But she couldn’t. The light was moving on its own, battling the darkness rising up from Jesse, calling for the truth inside the guards, dancing through the air, ripping at Elise’s mind and tearing through her muscles.

  “Stop this now! I’ve seen enough,” Jesse yelled, shaking Elise. “I’ve seen enough!”

  Something stung at the side of her arm, and she cried out, losing her focus on the light. She looked down at her arm and saw that a needle attached to a large syringe was stuck deep in her skin. Only a small amount of the dark-red substance remained, and Jesse pushed the end of the syringe and forced the rest into her bloodstream.

  She glanced up at Jesse, confused, and his face was shadowed in both regret and fear. Elise only held her confusion for a moment, because suddenly the blood in her veins felt as if it were on fire. She stepped back from Jesse as the feeling began to spread to every inch of her body. It scratched and burned, eliminating the light as it scorched through muscles and tissue. A deep desperation and fear started to form in her chest. She could feel the substance smothering her power with cruelty and vengeance. She wanted it out. What had he done to her?

  Elise took another step back, her legs unsteady, as the attacking essence forged its way down her quads and into her calves. She could feel it turning her into something else. Darkness—the same darkness she had been battling moments before—began to bubble up into her chest. It covered the light, hid her power, erased the words of strength she clung to. It was consuming her and choking out who she knew she was.

  Elise started to feel panicked. She didn’t want to succumb to the darkness, but she could feel it taking her deeper into its clutches with each breath. She rubbed the skin on the top of her arms viciously. She felt like the darkness was moving through her cells and turning even her flesh into something else. Hot tears sprang to her eyes as her dread grew.

  She tried searching through the dark clouds forming in her chest for the Father’s voice, the light, her power, anything that would bring her back, but all she felt was the rapidly building presence of whatever Jesse had injected into her. It was making its way toward her mind, climbing up through her neck and restricting her breathing.

  Elise gulped for air and felt tears slowly sliding down her cheeks. She clenched her eyes shut as images of her own past played like painful memories through her brain. Sitting alone in her room for hours, wondering who she was; being carted out of sight and handled with coldness; crying herself to sleep as loneliness surrounded her; being abandoned by Jesse, being tortured by the Scientist, being held prisoner, being lied to. Being nothing. Being worthless. Being powerless.

  Then, smaller than a whisper, something drifted through the growing darkness and touched her mind. Warmth, a feeling of closeness, a loving reminder.

  Light of the world.

  The thought broke through for only a moment before being covered in darkness once more, but it was enough to ignite a flame. Elise pushed past her self-hatred, past the loneliness that had convinced her she was powerless, past the shame she carried for being broken, past the lies she had believed about her own worth, and let it all go. The small flame exploded into a massive fire of light and power that consumed the darkness eating away at her true nature. It trampled over every speck of disbelief and reclaimed her soul to truth.

  Elise opened her eyes and saw the room once again captured in light, Jesse’s face pale and afraid, the darkness that had just been inside her surrounding him like a shield. He inched away from her as she approached, and the darkness lashed out in anger.

  “Arrest her,” Jesse cried, but nobody responded. The guards were on their knees, their minds changed, their eyes opened. Elise let the light fill her heart and then she pulled it back into herself, letting the room fall into a normal rhythm. She wasn’t here to fight with Jesse. The guards were glancing between Jesse and Elise, some with tears in their eyes, others only confusion, but none of them responded to Jesse’s command. He glared around the room, breathing in short bursts, and then strode angrily to the double doors.

  He pounded on them a couple times, and as they opened, several more guards entered the room, all with the Genesis Serum still swirling through their veins. He pointed toward Elise, and the guards headed for her.

  They reached her quickly, recuffed her forcefully, and yanked her forward. Jesse stood across the room, his hands trembling, his back to her. She wanted to see his face, to see if there was any hope in his expression, to see if the light was even now reaching for his truth, but he wouldn’t look at her. She was escorted from the room, back down to the cells on the basement floor, and locked away. Left alone with only her thoughts. The darkness inside Jesse was greater than she’d thought. Worse, he had tried to kill the light inside her.

  Elise slid down against one of the stone walls to the floor and pulled her aching knees close. Her brain throbbed and her body burned. Her shoulders trembled and her chest heaved as if she couldn’t get her breathing to stabilize. Her vision spun and she thought for a moment her world might go black.

  Black like the night sky outside, black like the shroud covering Jesse’s heart. Tears moistened her face and she shook her head. She’d wanted to show Jesse the light. She’d wanted to save him, to bring him back to the truth, but all she’d done was enrage the evil controlling him.

  A terrible thought crossed her mind like a whisper that she couldn’t silence. What if Jesse couldn’t be saved after all?

  Jesse stormed into his office and slammed the door behind him. Anger pulsed in his temples, the darkness filling every inch of his frame. His breath was short, falling from his mouth in heated bursts, thundering at the same pace as his heart. He turned to the desk sitting to his right and with a tremendous cry, ran his arms across the top, sending all of its contents crashing to the ground.

  He shivered in his own fury and tried to control himself. Running his hands forcefully up over his forehead and across the top of his head, he focused on taking steady breaths. One and then another, slowing his racing heart, calming the trembling in his fingers.

  A sneaky piece of light pulled softly at his gut and he cursed out loud. It was still sitting with him, moving like wisps of smoke in his chest. He couldn’t get rid of it, couldn’t stop it from threatening to dissolve all the control he had managed to acquire over his lifetime. Memories of his father and childhood rolled through his brain once more. She’d poisoned him with the past. A past he’d worked hard to block out. Yet in a single moment, she’d dug up his inadequacies and aired them. Using that light, she’d attacked him; she’d attacked his men; she’d destroyed their minds and played with their psychological welfare.

  And she had somehow withstood the darkness. There had been a moment when Jesse had started to believe that the dark blood Roth had given him was actually going to save Elise from herself. He’d watched it work its way through her body, across her face; he’d started to see rescue. But then she had crushed it. With light.

  The darkness hissed inside his mind. It’s a trick. Don’t be so easily deceived.

  Again the warmth of the light tugged at his heart, and he felt his breath catch in his throat. He could sense himself wanting to give in and let it flow through his veins, but his shoulders were tensed in fear. What would it uncover? What would it change?

  Everything, the darkness whispered, soft and sweet in his ear. It would change everything.

  Jesse didn’t want things to change. He wanted them to go back to the way they were before. When he and Elise had been one another’s comfort. He wanted his rule of the city to continue, he wanted to ensure the peace was kept, he wanted Elise to be his. He wanted it more than he could stand. But he knew now he could never have her. She was too far gone
.

  She will destroy everything you have created. That light will take away your power.

  Jesse rubbed his temples and sank into the chair behind his desk. His mind was clouded with confusion. He’d known Elise was powerful, but it was far more impressive to see with his own eyes the way she had brought his guards to their knees. To feel that force moving through his own body. To taste the leftovers still on his tongue. Yet still the darkness buzzed inside his mind, something he knew and felt comfortable with. But that power . . .

  That power will seek to destroy you. That power will take away all of yours.

  Elise’s words drifted through his cracked psyche. “The light exists inside everyone already.”

  It’s only there to taunt you. To control you.

  “It doesn’t destroy their minds; it opens them.”

  It only opens the past, forcing you to surrender to your pain.

  “I can see it. . . . Even in you.”

  Lies used only to convert you.

  Jesse was breathing more steadily now, his chest rising and falling in rhythm with his heart. The twinge of light was fading; the darkness filled the gaps as it left. The familiar sense of control reentered and calmed his mind. He looked at the ground, where the contents of his desk were now scattered about. He hardly ever lost his temper in such a way. He didn’t like the way it made him feel, and her power had caused it. She was more dangerous than he’d imagined.

  She needs to be destroyed.

  Jesse leaned forward, elbows on both knees, and hung his head. He knew eliminating her was the best solution for the city. He knew, as its leader, that he was called to do what was best for its people. But he couldn’t. She occupied a special place in his heart and he couldn’t turn away from that. He loved her too much. If Jesse were a stronger man, maybe he’d be able to take care of her without suffering the consequences. But he wasn’t. He knew it would destroy him. But if he let her live and exist in the city, then she would destroy them all.

  You have no other choice.

  He couldn’t do it. Jesse tried to silence the hissing in his mind, but it only grew.

  Don’t be weak. Do what you were called to. Rule!

  There had to be another way.

  You have no other choice.

  He could send her away. He could send all the Seers away and still save what was left of what he’d built. Without her lurking around every corner, tearing down what he was trying to construct.

  Don’t be a fool.

  “I cannot do what you ask,” Jesse said out loud.

  Of course you can. You have to.

  “I won’t.”

  Then she will destroy you.

  “No, I will send them away. I will rid the city of all of them.”

  Weak, stupid little man.

  “Enough!” Jesse slammed his hand on the empty desktop and pain vibrated up his arm. The voice dissolved into nothing, the darkness receded back deep inside his chest, and the room fell into an eerie silence.

  The stillness made him feel utterly alone. No more Elise, no more light, no more darkness. Only he remained to suffer alone with one resounding question pumping through all the pathways in his brain: to kill or not to kill Elise.

  28

  Elise sat awake as the hours of the night ticked by. She couldn’t get her mind to shut off or slow down. It ran on full steam into the early morning and through the sunrise. Her thoughts filled with Aaron, with Arianna, with Jesse. All buzzing around her brain, multiplying, and blending into one another.

  Her emotions played a similar game: chasing each other, colliding, stretching so that they were filling every inch of her. She tried to feel them all, wading through them as she confronted one at a time, saw each one for what it was, and then practiced letting it go. Sometimes it happened easily; other times it seemed impossible. She closed her eyes, tucked her mind away, and dropped into her spirit.

  She found herself back in the golden field, the wind sweetly sweeping across the valley, the perfect sun warming her chill. And he was there—Aaron, standing before her, as if he’d been waiting for her to come. The moment she saw him, she nearly burst into tears, for she longed to let go of the pain that came with forgetting and wrap herself up in this field forever while the rest of the world drifted away.

  “I may have ruined it all,” Elise said.

  Aaron chuckled softly and shook his head. “You couldn’t ruin anything.”

  “But he may never believe.”

  “Do you not trust your Father?”

  “Of course I do—with all my heart.”

  “Did he not tell you that all came from the light?”

  “Yes, but Jesse doesn’t see that.”

  “Then he simply needs a change of perspective.”

  “And what if I can’t show him?”

  “You already have,” Aaron said.

  Elise shook her head. The weight of seeing someone she cared for so blinded was pulling down on her confidence. “How can you be so sure?”

  “Because I believe the power of the light is bigger than anything else in existence. There is nothing it can’t overcome. You experienced it for yourself. Do you think Jesse is too much for the light to handle?”

  Again Elise shook her head.

  “Then don’t worry. Find joy in the fact that Jesse still has the light waiting for him. He still gets to discover his true identity in his Father.”

  “But what if he doesn’t?” Elise felt tears roll down her cheeks and she sucked back an emotional breath. Even here in this perfect place, she remembered the way the darkness had crawled through her bones.

  Aaron crossed the grass to where she was and gently brushed the tears from her face. “Let go of your fear. He already has the light inside him. He will see it. They will all see it. That is the journey. Remembering that you belong to the light is all there is.”

  Elise opened her eyes and was back in her cell, tears still fresh on her cheeks. A soft wind blew into the room through the open barred window and wrapped itself around her shoulders. She inhaled deeply and surrendered to it.

  “That is the journey. Remembering that you belong to the light.”

  Aaron’s words floated with the breeze, calming her, stilling her fear, washing it away. She trusted the light. She trusted her Father. So she let go and sat in the truth. She didn’t even notice Jesse and the two guards until they were standing right outside her cell.

  Jesse looked at her for a long moment, and neither of them said a word. It was clear he hadn’t slept either; his eyes were bloodshot, his face gray from exhaustion. But she could feel him. Both the light and the darkness that battled in his spirit. His terror and confusion. His loneliness and pride. He was waging war against his true identity, a power too strong to overcome, and it was tearing him apart.

  She held his gaze, and eventually he dropped his eyes to the floor. “This has to end,” he said.

  End, Elise thought. She could only imagine what he meant by end.

  “You have caused too much destruction already. This can’t continue.”

  Elise wasn’t sure how to respond.

  “Renounce the light,” Jesse said softly.

  Elise’s breath caught in her throat.

  Jesse lifted his eyes to meet hers, and she saw swirls of darkness moving behind them. “Renounce the light, and you can go free from here and return to the Capitol Building.”

  Renounce her truth? She couldn’t do that. “And if I don’t?” she asked.

  Jesse’s jaw tensed enough that she could see the muscles in his mouth working. “Then you have to leave.”

  “Leave?”

  “Leave the city, permanently, never to return,” Jesse said.

  Elise could sense a new form of pain collecting in his chest as he spoke, and something suddenly became so clear to Elise that she couldn’t believe she had never realized it before. He loved her. All these years, she had been stored away inside this large brick building, never fully understanding how much this m
an cared for her. She wondered what he’d done to protect her. Wondered how far he’d gone to keep her from the Scientist. She reflected on all of their encounters—the lessons, the conversations, the dinners. Those had been his way of showing his love for her. He’d never said it, but it was clearly marked on his face now. He loved her.

  Leave the city, she thought. How many times had she wished for exactly that? Yet Elise was surprised by the dread filling her heart. Leave the city and go where? This place was all she’d ever known. She had no idea what was out there. She knew Trylin City waited for her, but she’d been so caught up in the present that she hadn’t really thought about what would happen when she was finished here.

  Would she ever see Jesse again if she left? Again Elise was surprised by the sorrow she felt after all this man had done to her. But what could he ever really have done to her? She stood with the Father, clothed in light, surrounded by truth. Peace eased itself around her, and she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she forgave him. She held nothing against him now. Instead, she saw him as he truly was, the same as her. He just didn’t know it yet.

  Like the flip of a light switch, she realized that her job had never been to save him. It had only ever been to help him remember that the Father’s light was already inside him.

  “I can’t renounce the light. It is in me fully,” Elise said. “As it is in you.”

  Jesse closed his eyes. “Things could be like they were before,” he said. “Better. I can give you anything you want. You could rule this city with me.”

  Elise shook her head. “No. I know who I am now, and there may come some moments when I forget, but I will never be separated from the light. Like I said, it’s in me fully.”

  “Then you must go, so that my city can be rid of your madness.”